T-Minus Ten Days To Go - 10:46 a.m.

”But There Aint No Sanity Clause!”

Teddy was looking rather fine in his festive coat.

“It’s nearly Christmas!” he said, extending his glass of eggnog towards the ceiling with one paw while stabbing the air with his fine Havana cigar with the other.

“What would you like from Father Christmas, young Nesbitt?”

“I would like a Komatsu,” said Nesbitt.

“A what?” replied Teddy, flabbergasted.

“I’ve a hankering for a K Series crushing jaws type machine,” Nesbitt began.

“And what are the specs?” asked Teddy.

“The K-Series jaw offers high performance with a simple design that facilitates maintenance,” explained Nesbitt. “Designed by Komatsu, the K-Series Jaw is portable and practical. An adjustment of the jaw discharge setting requires less time than the competition. The Vibratory Grizzly Feeder is also a boon- by vibrating the materials at an accelerated speed, the material is separated and fed evenly into the jaw.”

“Anything else?” Teddy enquired, becoming quickly bored.

“Yes, it has outstanding mobility - hydraulic steering and high travel speed make the crusher easy to relocate. The BR350JG uses the same track undercarriage as the PC220 hydraulic excavator.”

Teddy began tapping on his glass. “Well,” he said, “Perhaps Father Christmas will get it for you if you have been good.”

Nesbitt made a noise.

“What was THAT?”

“I said Arse To Father Christmas.”

“Well,” said Teddy. “There will be no Komatsu for you then.”

“I want it and I shall have it,” Nesbitt said with a curious certainty.

“And what makes you think you will get a Komatsu if you say ‘arse to father Christmas’?”

“Because I will use my formidable powers to get a present from you.”

“Let me see if I get this right,” asked Teddy. “Even though you’re saying ‘arse to father Christmas’, yet you expect to get the Komatsu.”

“Yes,” said Nesbitt, fixing Teddy with his steely gaze.

“And what are these so-called ‘powers’?”

“I shall use cuteness.”

“Naturally.”

“I will follow that up with guilt closely followed by pleading.. If I haven’t had my Komatsu by then, I will throw a tantrum followed by the slamming of doors.”

“I see,” said Teddy taking out a notebook from his pocket. “And what colour would you like this Komatsu?”

“Any colour so long as it is yellow

It Was SKIRT and pants, not SHIRT and pants

What do you think we are… insane? Do you think we have an irrational hatred against people who wear shirts and pants? It’s skirts and pants. SKIRTS. Blimey. (Funny website though Duk. There but for the grace of… etc, thinks Mr. Oaf

bears in history - future bears

“This diary cracked me up, completely, perhaps the oddest diary I have ever read. I'm not sure if it's a takeoff on something or someone that I have somehow missed. Regardless, TEZNEZCO! chronicles the adventures of two bears and describe them as if they are a minority of some sort. The writing is disturbingly matter-of-fact as if it is perfectly normal to be writing about these bears as people. I like it; it's pleasantly novel" - Diaryreview

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