T-Minus 7 Days - 12:32 p.m.

Christmas Spirit

“My, my, my,” said Teddy as the landscape of the Central Coast passed by the windows of the schwimmerwagen, “They certainly know how to celebrate Christmas around here.”

“Yes,” said Nesbitt, “They certainly do.”

And the small bears were right. Never before had they seen an entire suburb festooned with garish plastic Santas hanging from chimneys, hundreds of thousands of twinkling fairy lights and empty cans of Bundy Rum and Coke scattered on the footpaths.

“I have yet to see a Reindeer,” said Nesbitt.

“We have our own reindeer, one Buster, who becomes very busy from late November onwards,” said Teddy.

“And where does he go?”

“Here and there,” said Teddy. “Up north, down south, all over the place, moving things with his antlers.”

“That’s funny, I could have sworn I saw him hanging off our Christmas tree.”

Teddy looked worried.

“Hmmm,” he said. “I guess it’s possible… but I haven’t seen it myself.”

“Well, next time you’re in the living room, have a good look at the top of the tree and I’m sure you will see Buster just sitting up there looking mighty pleased with himself.”

“I will make a note of that,” Teddy said. “I didn’t know reindeers hung off trees.”

“Oh yes,” Nesbitt said, “They do that sort of thing all the time in Lapland.”

“Oh?”

“Indeed. And they jump off chairs.”

“What?”

”They jump off chairs to welcome in the new year.”

“I think you mean the Germans and the Dutch,” Teddy said. “They jump off chairs. In Lapland they drink Vodka.”

“They also wear hats.”

“Now you’re talking about America. Everyone in America wears a festive hat for Christmas. It was a tradition started by the first settlers, the people who invented Quaker Oats. That man on the Quaker Oats box, he’s wearing a hat and I think you will find that people in America wear special hats, sometimes featuring lights.”

“But what of the baguette?”

“That’s France where they bake a huge bread roll from which all the French citizens may feast through the rugged winter.”

“I see,” said Nesbitt, looking amazed.

Teddy and Nesbitt drove on in awed silence.

bears in history - future bears

“This diary cracked me up, completely, perhaps the oddest diary I have ever read. I'm not sure if it's a takeoff on something or someone that I have somehow missed. Regardless, TEZNEZCO! chronicles the adventures of two bears and describe them as if they are a minority of some sort. The writing is disturbingly matter-of-fact as if it is perfectly normal to be writing about these bears as people. I like it; it's pleasantly novel" - Diaryreview

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