T-Minus Three Days - 12:33 p.m.

The Reindeer That Saved Christmas

Mr. Oaf was toiling in the kitchen making a five course meal for the enjoyment of the Bears. It was the official TEZNEZCO! Christmas party for employees and friends and everything had to be just right. Teddy is a demanding host, expecting perfection in everything and everyone. He was arranging candles on the table as Nesbitt checked the guest list.

“I see that Holly The Liar will be sitting next to Duk,” said Nesbitt.

“Yes,” said Teddy.

“And then over here we have HollyBolly… isn’t that doubling up?”

“She’s got a split personality so we’re going to need two seats.”

“I see,” said Nesbitt as he placed the bons bons on the table, “William sits here next to Tony The Production Guy across the table from Mrs. Oaf. And then we have Wastingspace near Wibah… should they be sitting next to each other?”

“Well,” said Teddy looking perplexed, “It is Christmas… but I suppose we should put them at separate ends of the table.”

“OK… then we have Weatherking, Ruthiebat, Brooce, Scribe, MadeAgain, Locoprincipe and OperaStar. That’s a lot of guests.”

Teddy lined up some chairs.

“And?”

“Well,” said Nesbitt. “There’s Penguin, Baer and Bim and Mr. Farkas…”

“Oh dear,” Teddy said. “Mr. Farkas – what shall we do with him?”

“It’s OK,” said Nesbitt. “All his food will be cut up into little pieces and mashed up with whisky making a digestible and flavorsome paste.”

“Mmmm!”

“There’s only one problem,” Nesbitt announced, looking at the clip board.

“Oh?”

“Yes, once we are seated that doesn’t leave any room for Mr. Oaf.”

“But there are plenty more seats.”

“Yes, but there’s Boswell, The Man Wes, the lady from the Brandpower spots, Richard Wilkins, Mathew Newton plus one, Kate, Dudley Jenkins QC, The Difficult Friend, Norman Yem and Walter The Out There Bear.

“It’s OK,” said Teddy, suddenly relieved.

“We can fit Mr. Oaf in Norman Yem’s seat.”

“But…”

“Tut tut young bear,” said Teddy. “Norman left this mortal coil some ten years ago.”

“Phew,” said Nesbitt.

bears in history - future bears

“This diary cracked me up, completely, perhaps the oddest diary I have ever read. I'm not sure if it's a takeoff on something or someone that I have somehow missed. Regardless, TEZNEZCO! chronicles the adventures of two bears and describe them as if they are a minority of some sort. The writing is disturbingly matter-of-fact as if it is perfectly normal to be writing about these bears as people. I like it; it's pleasantly novel" - Diaryreview

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