Monday blah - 11:26 a.m.

Will There Be Bears In This Story?

Mr. Oaf is unsure. It seems logical that there should be at least one talking bear in the novel, as his life is filled with many bears – some good, some bad – and they’re always talking.

Will there be song lyrics in the book?

Mr. Oaf is often found humming, or “singing”, so that too would reflect his life. Unfortunately, every time he has tried to incorporate lyrics in the past, it never seemed to work. It feels wrong. Yet, the whole lobby bears mystery was sparked by a line from Painters Paint and that was quite good. We’ll see how that goes.

Cars and birds?

That’s a tough one. There will be a car in the first chapter because of the whole “it gets me from a to b” question. (Philosophically speaking, Mr. Oaf wonders where you are when you are halfway between a and b? If you say “I’m travelling between 1 and 2” there are an infinite number of points in-between (as in Zeno’s paradox). But is there such a thing as A ½?)

Birds? Definitely. Ornithology is big these days and may create a marketing angle in the same way that sex used to sell things. Instead of an attractive looking person on the cover, you could have a Little Pied Cormorant… Mr. Oaf reckons if Gould’s Book of Fish can have a fish on the cover – not to mention the whole metafictional angle of organising your book along the lines of the taxonomy of fish – then why not a nice bird? Or a bear? Indeed, why not?

So what’s it all about, this so called “novel”?

No plot yet. There’s a Swiss Artist lady, there’s a arts writer living on the Central Coast, there’s a man selling a vintage car and there’s some interaction between them. Oh, and there’s a guy who climbs mountains. There may also be a plot thread about a conspiracy to change time. But that hasn’t been confirmed yet. Possibly also a yellow dinosaur and a plan to buy Old Sydney Town.

bears in history - future bears

“This diary cracked me up, completely, perhaps the oddest diary I have ever read. I'm not sure if it's a takeoff on something or someone that I have somehow missed. Regardless, TEZNEZCO! chronicles the adventures of two bears and describe them as if they are a minority of some sort. The writing is disturbingly matter-of-fact as if it is perfectly normal to be writing about these bears as people. I like it; it's pleasantly novel" - Diaryreview

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