Tuesday - 9:16 a.m.

We Know Who She Is…

It’s all very straight forward and simple. Listenlady is a good friend of ours and she goes by a number of other names, but the “listen, lady…” part of her personality is a delightful constant.

You can work out who she is by all the untruths she tells. They’re not lies anymore, just half-truths that, as we all know from our High School physics class, have a toxic half-life of 30,000 years.

Good News and Bad News

Word came through yesterday that Mr. Oaf wont be needed after the end of next week. That is, his day time non-TEZNEZCO! activities will come to an end and he will be technically unemployed. He’ll still have a helluva lot of things to do but he just won’t be paid for any of them.

He’s worrying what’ll happen when Teddy finds out that there’ll be no cash flow, either in, or out, and he’s a bear of a quick and savage temper.

(Actually, that’s not entirely true… (we may be suffering from Listenlady disease). He can be quick to temper, but if you give him a length of green ribbon he’ll wear it on his head for a few days while saying things like “Jahrastafari!” and “hali selasi I & I !”. No one understands what that means but we all like it and it distracts him from his temper)…

The good news is that Mr. Oaf doesn’t want to do his day job anymore. He’s bored with it. Deeply and irrevocably bored. The novel is beckoning and things must be done. The bad news is there will be minimal funds.

That and the water at Pearl Beach has gone cold.

Ashton Scholastic Bear Gone Missing

Each day Mr. and Mrs. Oaf drive past the special window at Ahton Scholastic they look at the Bear in the window. It’s a kind of dopey looking bear that’s too big – probably about 2-3 feet tall. It has a mortarboard on its head, academic robes and a pair of heavy framed glasses that give it a very stern look.

In a previous entry we described how this bear is used to frighten children into learning and speculated that it had something to do with Ashton Scholastic.

The truth of the matter was that the bear in question had nothing to do with Ashton Scholastic, whose corporate logo features a wise owl, not a troublesome bear. We also speculated that the bear was stupid, kind of like that big fella character in Of Mice And Men or the dumb stooge in the Bugs Bunny cartoons that featured one smart bank robber and one dumb bank robber.

Anytime that Teddy or Nesbitt drove past they would moon the hapless bear and snicker as they wizzed by in their Audi TT. Well, who’s sorry now? Mr. and Mrs. Oaf drove past the other morning to discover that after last week’s shock sighting of a FOR LEASE sign in the window, the bear, mortarboard, academic robes, glasses, even the chair he was sitting on… ARE GONE.

We wish him well wherever he is…

bears in history - future bears

“This diary cracked me up, completely, perhaps the oddest diary I have ever read. I'm not sure if it's a takeoff on something or someone that I have somehow missed. Regardless, TEZNEZCO! chronicles the adventures of two bears and describe them as if they are a minority of some sort. The writing is disturbingly matter-of-fact as if it is perfectly normal to be writing about these bears as people. I like it; it's pleasantly novel" - Diaryreview

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