Chicken Day - 10:29 a.m.

Sans Pants

Our good pal Ruthiebat has written in suggesting the creation of something called the “Society for Animals Who Refuse To Wear Pants." That seems like a good idea, but since most animals aren’t wearing said garment already, a “society” may be unnecessary.

Teddy likes the idea… in theory. “Well, I’m not joining any society that doesn’t have a logo,” the bear remarked. “If it’s got a good logo, a ‘Ghost Busters’ style red circle with a pair of pants in the middle, then maybe I’ll join.”

Nesbitt was more welcoming of the idea but would only join if he could be treasurer.

Franchising TEZNEZCO!

Following on from yesterday’s good idea, the brains trust got down to essentials of what such a bold and daring business move would need. Clearly, a franchise operation could reap big rewards for the company. It looks like a three step process.

First, you need to figure out what the essential essence of TEZNEZCO! is and then package it so that budding franchisees can set up a chapter in their home town and/or city and while still getting a bit of the Teddy and Nesbitt flavour.

Penguin suggested that there would need to be Teddy and Nesbitts in all the TEZNEZCO!s. Teddy could oversee the process, making a diagram or two, perhaps even a flow chart, and then get a costume designed for full impersonation purposes.

“Take Oporto Portuguese Chicken”, Penguin explained. “First it was just a shop near the bus stop at North Bondi, then they franchised it so that you can be in Newtown or even Kings Cross and it’s kind of the same.”

“Ah, but it’s not the same really,” Teddy pointed out. “The shop in North Bondi was kind of pokey and dark but the chicken was very good and the sauces and salads were excellent. The franchise places are brightly lit, are easily accessible by foot or by car but have so-so chicken and quite miniscule salads. The corollary is that a franchised TEZNEZCO! would be smaller and darker than the real thing and would be better run, if the whole inverse-ratio proportional equation would hold water, if you will… but I don’t know how the chicken would taste…”

Second, you’d need a logo. TEZNEZCO! already has a logo, but it would have to be trademarked and registered and have some security devices so it couldn’t be illegally copied.

“You’d get knock offs,” Nesbitt said. “Like Pizza Hat in Turkey or Krusty’s Fried Chicken in London. So we’d be looking at TEBENEBCO!, NEZTEZCO!, TEBCO, TOPCO and possibly even Teddy’s A Bunch Of Arse Inc.

“Hmm,” said Teddy.

The third part would obviously be a world-wide advertising campaign promoting the TEZNEZCO! brand.

Teddy shuddered. “If there’s one thing I can’t abide is this whole ‘branding’ business”, he said. “I am more than willing to display my arse for the sake of commerce but please don’t call it a brand.”

“I call it ‘arse’,” Nesbitt replied.

“Hmmm,” said Teddy. “We should get a recently unemployed sports celebrity who is drifting into the twilight of their career to endorse TEZNEZCO! and the franchising of said name…”“I nominate Susie Maroney the former long distance swimmer,” said Nesbitt.

“But what has swimming got to do with an international consortium with wide-ranging interests in arse?”

“She’s insane,” Nesbitt explained. “She once tried to swim from Jamaica to Cuba with nothing more than a pair of Speedos and a small tub of plain yoghurt. That’s the TEZNEZCO! spirit…”

“I think we maybe on to something here,” Teddy said excitedly. “Get our people to contact Susie’s people…”

“Our ‘people’?” Nesbitt asked, confused.

bears in history - future bears

“This diary cracked me up, completely, perhaps the oddest diary I have ever read. I'm not sure if it's a takeoff on something or someone that I have somehow missed. Regardless, TEZNEZCO! chronicles the adventures of two bears and describe them as if they are a minority of some sort. The writing is disturbingly matter-of-fact as if it is perfectly normal to be writing about these bears as people. I like it; it's pleasantly novel" - Diaryreview

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