A Rainy Saturday in April - 2:50 p.m.

Inbox

Time to look at some official TEZNEZCO! (The Company Run By Bears ™) mail since it has been ages since we looked.

Our good friend William writes: ”worried about Duk Nesbitt has "unfinished business". Arses with "unfinished business" are distinctly unpleasant. "someone" is harassing us. Need a holiday. W.”

This is a cryptic response to Mrs. Oaf’s email to William in which she mentioned the fact that Nesbitt has unfinished business with DUK. Those of you familiar with the whole Duk-Nesbitt thing will know that the small bear does indeed have ‘unfinished’ business, but it’s the kind of ‘business’ that has to be done face to face, which is why Nesbitt, Teddy, Mr. Oaf and sundry others will be flying to New York in October to take care of these issues personally.

TEZNEZCO! has a branch office in New York and it has been ages since we looked in on operations there, the last time being in 1988. The offices are located in The Beauty Supply District, just down from the offices of Acme Novelty Supplies and just across the road from the Museum of Forgetfulness.

William’s claim that he needs a “holiday” is simply laughable. He’s already had at least one holiday this year and now he wants more. Strangely, William neglects to mention that he’s coming to Australia in October himself for a wedding, which is kind of like a holiday already, don’t you think?

Ruthiebat has also dropped us a line that simply reads Darlin's, are you alright? The rabbits are concerned!

We’re all fine, thanks for asking. The truth of it is that we’ve been monstrously busy. Mr. Oaf is trying to inveigle his way into the Australian Broadcasting Corporation, first by getting his movie reviews online and now he’s got big plans to make a pilot for a radio show of his own. These plans have been partly achieved with TEZNEZCO! friend Nicola The Producer saying yes to the idea but “let’s see how we go.”

Meanwhile, Mr. Oaf is sending his CD showreel to Mornings with Kerry Anne on the dreaded NINE Network. He heard that they’re looking for a movie reviewer. Mr. Oaf is quite excited about the possibility of a chance of a definite maybe about getting on-screen but it’s also the home of The Great Satan (you know who we mean). The upside is that Mr. Oaf will get paid and become great friends with “Mr. Showbiz” Richard Wilkins, the dumb blonde of Australian TV. The downside is that when the people at NINE get a look at Mr. Oaf, they’ll no doubt say something like “a great face for radio…” We shall see.

And in other news, Mr. Oaf is working on his novella, (which is kind of like a novel, only shorter, 25-30,000 words instead of, say, 65-70,000 words of a regular tome). Teddy is dictating a lot of it, but it’s a hell of a lot of words.

Princess Pony writes in to say ”never said the sex was graphic.*wink*. Mr. Oaf was completely mystified by that message until he remembered that he had been lurking around the Winged Pony page on Diaryland and read with excitement that the page had its own disclaimer. Unlike DUK, for example, where dirty words are thrown around like swearing sailors on shore leave in Manila, Princess Pony advises readers that there are words and themes of an adult nature. Mr. Oaf read through several pages and there was no swearing, no themes, concepts or anything that would make this page worth reading. Like most pages on Diaryland, it was all about relationships and boys and other girly stuff. So Mr. Oaf left a note decrying the lack of promised content. The only saucy bit has been the *wink*.

Z also left us a note because we had been to his site to admire the floating clock and left a note there. He says, ”what the hell? you get offers for hovercrafts?? all i get is offers from 'Jenny' to build my own dildo. lame.”. If it’s any consolation to you Z, Jenny writes to us too and she’s not all she’s cracked up to be. In fact, we suspect that “Jenny” is some sort of online entity that is not human, a SPAM program that wanders the web trying to make friends.

Finally, Jean Bug says Mr. Oaf! I'll try to write more…school is being such a horrible thing lately, psh... keeping me too busy to write in my diary.. That’s a damn shame Jean, we’re popping over and not much is happening, but try and remember that a school that is not horrible is not a school. It’s just the way they are.

bears in history - future bears

“This diary cracked me up, completely, perhaps the oddest diary I have ever read. I'm not sure if it's a takeoff on something or someone that I have somehow missed. Regardless, TEZNEZCO! chronicles the adventures of two bears and describe them as if they are a minority of some sort. The writing is disturbingly matter-of-fact as if it is perfectly normal to be writing about these bears as people. I like it; it's pleasantly novel" - Diaryreview

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