Pants - 4:04 p.m.

Reggae, Reggae, Reggae, (With a Little Bit of Reggae)

It’s all Reggae around here at the moment. We like it, we make no apologies for it, and the more we get, the more we want.

That’s A Very Long Sentence

Is that the right spelling? It looks wrong. Anyway, it is a very long sentence (whichever way you spell it). 874 words long at the current count. People in Mr. Oaf’s class are divided. Some say it is too long while others applaud its length and stamina. Mr. Oaf wanted to make it longer – perhaps 2,000 words long. Sure, it’s a bit of grandstanding, look-at me-writing, but you don’t get anywhere unless you aim high. It was ’s friend Francis Ford Coppola who likened the creative effort to an Irwin Allen movie (or something), and he was, as he is in many things, perfectly correct. Mr. Oaf has plans to end the novella with a sentence that’s maybe 5,000 words long. Mrs. Oaf says that would be a shame and would spoil the whole book which, until now, is a perfectly pleasant experience. What do you think? Leave answers in the usual place.

Bernard Cohen Has Very Short Hair on a Very Round Head

That’s true as well. It must have something to do with the fact that he’s an intellectual. He wears glasses. His head is very round and he’s written a lot of lovely books that critics think very highly of. Mr. Oaf made the mistake of telling Bernard that he couldn’t read Snowdome because he thought it was a bunch of arse. Oops. That’s not the way to suck up to the lecturer, now is it?

Teddy Wearing Pants

Mr. Oaf went and bought a nice birthday card for Mrs. Oaf at the local newsagent at Deep Water Plaza. There were bears on it, naturally, but it wasn’t until he got the card home and was writing a message from TEZNEZCO (The Company Run By Bears ™) that he noticed that there was a featured bear that looked EXACTLY like Teddy.

Over the years people have claimed that they knew, or had known, a bear that looked “just like Teddy” but they offered no evidence for this contentious and downright preposterous claim. For example, Susan claimed that she grew up with a bear that looked like Teddy, but said bear was conveniently living in seclusion in Newcastle and therefore could not be presented as evidence. Although her claim seemed credible, and would have gone some way to explaining Susan’s fractious nature, there was nothing to support it.

Until now that is.

The disturbing aspect of the card is centered on the fact that Teddy’s Doppelganger is wearing knitted yellow pants. It’s a fashion mistake by anyone’s standards, (even for Jacqui Khiu who now sports a demanding and very likely non-ironic femullet) and is a frightful example of why bears and pants just don’t add up.

On a dark and stormy night, say, you might mistake the Doppelganger for Teddy, but this imposter’s nose has not had the delicate hand of Kate to mend it, and his ears are look worn down by constant worry.

We asked the real Teddy if he knew the bear but he declined to comment and mysteriously “taking the fifth”, whatever that means.

Late Breaking News

We finally laid eyes on Holly and she doesn’t look like a Gonk. (Well, not much). She looks quite glamorous with her new Alexis Carrington do and we applaud it.

Romy Not Evil: Official

It turns out that Romy is not evil. (Well, not really evil, just a little). She’s just some two and half year old kid. Big whoopy do.

bears in history - future bears

“This diary cracked me up, completely, perhaps the oddest diary I have ever read. I'm not sure if it's a takeoff on something or someone that I have somehow missed. Regardless, TEZNEZCO! chronicles the adventures of two bears and describe them as if they are a minority of some sort. The writing is disturbingly matter-of-fact as if it is perfectly normal to be writing about these bears as people. I like it; it's pleasantly novel" - Diaryreview

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