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Wednesday - 12:24 p.m. Donde Est Los Ruinas? They’re in the back of Mr. Oaf’s mouth, that’s where; back molar on the right hand side, top left molar, also right at the back. As with many things, Mr. Oaf’s mind wanders to Warner Bros. cartoons. He remembers one where Daffy Duck had a stick of dynamite in his mouth, the dynamite exploded then, when the duck opened it’s mouth, his teeth looked like a city of destroyed buildings a la World War 2. (For all of those you born into an era when WW2 was not as big a cultural phenomena as it was up until about 1973, think Baghdad or perhaps somewhere in the former Yugoslavia…). As much as he has tried to avoid it, Mr. Oaf will soon need to make an emergency trip to see the ever eccentric Dr. Richard Greentree, professional dentist guy. Greentree has toy planes hanging from the roof of his surgery and pleasant paintings on the walls – scenes featuring sailing boats and fanciful landscapes. Once, many years ago, Mr. Oaf noticed that the signature on the paintings clearly read: “R. Greentree”. He asked the dentist if he had done the paintings and the dentist said, after giving Mr. Oaf a startled look, “No, I did not…” Greentree also has an extraordinary dentist chair-side manner. He comes into the room and pretends that the patient is not there. He speaks softly but with a commanding tone to his assistant – something like, “A four gauge and a bit-filler thank you Debra…” and then after giving the patient a cursory glance and a smile, he then plunges his large fingers into the hapless mouth. He is remarkably gentle for a man with such enormous hands and although he does tend to jab needles in, he doesn’t inflict much pain. After chatting to the patient (who cannot reply) he then does his leaving thing. Greentree works alone in his practice but has two rooms on the go at any one time. One patient will be waiting in the first room, gazing up at the model planes slowly turning in the air conditioning breeze, while another, in the second room, is having root canal therapy. Greentree will come and go during a treatment. As he likes to also stand behind the patient, it’s very hard to tell if he’s there or not. When the patient is rinsing their mouth, he or she might glance around and find that only Debra is there, smiling, and she will then guide the patient to reception where they are asked for their credit card. Mrs. Oaf, who likes more fashionable dentists, has moved her treatments over to the The Dub Dentist, so-called because he has a huge collection of reggae dub CDs which he plays for the enjoyment of his patients. Apparently, the Dub Dentist’s assistant is also very attractive, and they share a very up and happy relationship that rubs off on the patients. Since a true enjoyment of reggae dub cannot be had without the assistance of theherb, the Dub Dentist dispenses happy gas without question…
While the Dub Dentist keeps his ital vital and praises The Lion of Judah, AKA, Hailiselasi Jahratsafari, and all that mysterious and impenetrable reggae speak, Greentree is probably keeping it real over in the old neighbourhood – you know what he’s saying – “Westside Massive” etc. Mr. Oaf thinks he will stay with Greentree, at least until all that work is done, lest another molar fall out while he’s eating a pizza at Danny’s La Bussola… 31,456 Words Later Well, Mr. Oaf is thinking, at least it’s done now, and no matter how good or bad it is, it’s there. The novella is written. The unfortunate truth about the world of writing in Australia is that hardly anyone publishes short stories on a regular basis, and, not a single publisher in the country accepts unsolicited manuscripts. Not one. They hive it all off to harassed, over work and possibly hysterical literary agents who now maintain the slush piles on behalf of publishers. You’d have to be insane to think you could make it, but, then again, you have to be insane to not at least try… bears in history - future bears 
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