Red Spot Special - 11:37 a.m.

Last Night

The beach was covered with tank tracks that looked as though they had been separated from their vehicles. It was explained that although these arrangements of metal looked useless, they could reconfigure themselves into any fighting vehicle at any time. They were, in effect, potential fighting vehicles that were simply at rest. We noticed that the tracks were locked into figure eights and were sandy coloured.

Over on Lobster Beach a barrage of red dots was launched at Pearl Beach, the opening salvo of the war. The dots came at us very slooooowly, bouncing on the waves, up and down. A soft rain of luminescent red spots engulfed us but instead of a horrible death, it felt like being tickled with feathers.

The so-called "potential fighting vehicles" just lay there in the sand, useless hunks of junk.

"Looks like it’s back to the drawing board," said Teddy.

Daschund With A Party Hat

We were discussing the possibility that the whole move to Pearl Beach may have been a mistake. Business has been good and the bears are now very popular in the neighbourhood. Nesbitt, however, is not popular enough (he says). Teddy’s theory is that while cute, Nesbitt can’t really compete with the local bird life who are, to be perfectly frank, way more cute than Nesbitt.

Why, just the other day Mr. Oaf, heard a talking parrot outside his office. Sulphur Crested Cockatoos can talk in captivity but never in the wild (having their own vocabulary already), so it was something of a shock to hear a bird going "eeee-awwww" like it was saying "hellll-ooooo" or perhaps "who’s a pretty boy?"

"That’s it," said Nesbitt. "I’m leaving."

"But what of TEZNEZCO!’s office" asked Mrs. Oaf

Teddy came up with a plan. We would leave behind a pup tent and, inside said tent, would be a daschund wearing a party hat. That way enquires could be dealt with in a timely manner.

"That’s a work of genius," admitted Mrs. Oaf.

And so it was.

bears in history - future bears

“This diary cracked me up, completely, perhaps the oddest diary I have ever read. I'm not sure if it's a takeoff on something or someone that I have somehow missed. Regardless, TEZNEZCO! chronicles the adventures of two bears and describe them as if they are a minority of some sort. The writing is disturbingly matter-of-fact as if it is perfectly normal to be writing about these bears as people. I like it; it's pleasantly novel" - Diaryreview

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