Tuesday On A Wednesday - 3:57 p.m.

Mice With Unkempt and Messy Hair, Bad Posture, Eating Junk Food, Watching “Joe Millionaire”

Mr. Oaf found himself flipping through the pages of New Scientist and discovered some startling news. It seems that “antidepressants work by stimulating the growth of new neurons in the hippocampus, the part of the brain critical for learning, memory and mood, a study on mice has confirmed”.

It must be a depressing job being a mouse, especially one that has to live in a cage in a laboratory and not in a fully appointed mouse hole (complete with lounge, TV and lamp), spending its days being treated for depression with doses of experimental drugs. There are humans, after all, who do this sort of thing for quick cash (or for free if it’s the right drug), so why are mice treated thusly?

Anyway, previous research has shown that "antidepressants such as Prozac stimulate growth of new brain cells but scientists were unsure if it was simply a side effect of [a] new drug…"

So, “Rene Hen irradiated the hippocampi in mice to destroy stem cells and prevent new neuron growth. When they treated the mice with antidepressants, the mice no longer responded to treatment by changing their grooming and feeding habits.”

Aside from the frankly disturbing similarity between mouse and human behaviour (as in the need to lay on a couch with messy hair and watch TV after a night of being irradiated), the question that is so clearly being begged is: what the hell were they expecting?

Mouse 1: Hello, I think today I shall go into town and buy myself a new pair of shoes.

Mouse 2: That’s a great idea! I think I shall get my hair cut into a stunning new style.

Mouse 1: My dear, that’s an excellent proposal, however I shall remain here for another half an hour and finish watching this documentary on The Pyramids of The Pharaohs.

Mouse 2: Yes and I must just finish this fine book by Dave Eggers.

Bears Not Mobile, It’s Just a Name

Our apologies to Ruthiebat who left a message on the guess book some weeks ago and which did not generate the usual annoying email. However, she wrote to explain that there are in fact no mobile bears in Mobile, AL. it’s just a name. Boo, says Teddy.

Speaking of Bears

We were very excited to see a preview for Peter Pan before the screening of Tomb Raider 2: The Cradle of Life which featured a bear in a leading role. None of us could recall if there was bear character in the book or in any previous film version, but applauded the inclusion of a bear as it was clearly what the film needed.

There is something indelibly creepy about Peter Pan and something even creepier when people like Robin Williams get involved. Sure, it’s just a children’s story (or “legend” as the trailer voice over would have us believe) and it dates from the century before last when children’s story were cloyingly sentimental and, sure, we’re all psycho about paedophilia these days, but, you know… little kids, don’t grow old, marauding adults with hooks for hands…

Yick.

Luckily for everyone there is no sign of Robin Williams or Dustin Hoffman and this version looks like it might be souped up for the young people of today who expect to have their special effects laid on and in big doses thank you very much. The highlight of the trailer is where the bear… well, you’ll see… Teddy applauded the fact that the bear was of equal stature to the rest of the cast and was used for dramatic tension rather than sappy pathos or symbolic purposes.

“If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s being symbolic,” stated Teddy.

Smart Pigeons

We saw two pigeons get on the train at Kings Cross. They sat on the chairs looking out the window, looked at each other when the train got to Martin Place, then hopped across the tops of the seats at Town Hall and exited the doors. They looked very pleased with themselves. The next time someone says that pigeons are “rats with wings” ask them how many times they’ve seen a rat catch a train.

bears in history - future bears

“This diary cracked me up, completely, perhaps the oddest diary I have ever read. I'm not sure if it's a takeoff on something or someone that I have somehow missed. Regardless, TEZNEZCO! chronicles the adventures of two bears and describe them as if they are a minority of some sort. The writing is disturbingly matter-of-fact as if it is perfectly normal to be writing about these bears as people. I like it; it's pleasantly novel" - Diaryreview

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