Wednesday Afternoon - 12:33 p.m.

Post Box & Mr. Oaf's Aching Back

Mr. Oaf was limping to the post box because of rising damp.

It's a complicated story: Mr. Oaf spends many hours sitting at this computer in a chair that was bought on sale at Officeworks. The old chair was one of the dining room chairs that, while it had many faults, at least had a straight back. It was replaced in the interests of dining room symmetry and Mr. Oaf's new computer chair was set up. It turns out that the new chair's springy back is bad for Mr. Oaf's spine and a weakness has been building for ages.

Then there was the rising damp. Mr. Oaf discovered that there was a puddle of water in the carpet next to the cupboard. Upon opening the cupboard a gigantic wave of water spewed forth that carried away years of precious VHS tapes, photos, personal documents and sundry items. Teddy was forced into one of TEZNEZCO!'s emergency life rafts and Nesbitt hung on to a chandelier.

Once the tsunami passed, it was discovered that leaking water pipe in the roof had been going for ages and slowly soaking the wall. Kevin the plumber came around and said, [XXXX XX XXX XXXXX!]

Nesbitt translated that the wall in the office would need to be ripped out. Nesbitt went to work with Kevin and soon what had been the pristine (if secretly sodden) wall was demolished into small pieces of gyprock the consistency of feta cheese.

"[XXX XXX XX X X XXXX XXX!] cried Kevin.

"What's he saying?" asked Teddy.

"The owner is coming around to look and we must hide ourselves," exclaimed Nesbitt in an anime stylee.

"Aieeee," cried Teddy.

Soon the office was maelstrom of activity. Mr. Oaf was lifting bails and toting barges all the live long day until there was a path through the wreckage. Teddy and Nesbitt sat back and admired Mr. Oaffs work.

"You missed a bit," said Teddy, pointing at a patch of rubbish.

Mr. Oaf couldn't hear the small bear's orders as he lay on the ground in agony.

"Argh, my achin' back!"

And So Mr. Oaf Limped To The Post Box

It was as good as it was ever going to be. He knew that he has the propensity to overwrite, making sentences too long (for which he blames Fleur Laurence, but it's not an excuse that would hold up in court). He also loses track of the narrative, is afraid of being too obvious and yet not obvious enough, likes dialogue a tad too much and likes symbolism but hates the "symbolic". Mr. Oaf dropped the envelope into the post box and limped away hoping that, this time, it would be a winner. The odds are something like 1200-1, but some one has to got to win the damn thing.

Holly Kept Under Lock and Key

Word came through that our good friend HollyBolly is being kept locked in a cupboard by her dastardly evil sister and that's why no one has heard anything from her in all this time.

bears in history - future bears

“This diary cracked me up, completely, perhaps the oddest diary I have ever read. I'm not sure if it's a takeoff on something or someone that I have somehow missed. Regardless, TEZNEZCO! chronicles the adventures of two bears and describe them as if they are a minority of some sort. The writing is disturbingly matter-of-fact as if it is perfectly normal to be writing about these bears as people. I like it; it's pleasantly novel" - Diaryreview

DiaryReview