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Festival of The Jumper

Everyone knows about the Festival of the Jumper. It occurs annually after the Easter Long Weekend and celebrates the traditional time when Nesbitt puts on his red jumper, heralding the onset of autumn and the end of public nudity.

In England it is known as The Festival of The Cardigan and in America as The Festival of The Sweater. In Germany, the festival translates as The Compulsory Event Acknowledging a Bear and in Japan as Super Fantastic Nesbitt Week, OK!.

Nesbitt, as we all know, is a bear of nature and the song “Nature Bear” was written in his honour. Many critics of the festival say that it should be called Festival of The Mothball or perhaps, Thanksgiving due to the fact that we no longer have to look at Nesbitt’s arse – and no matter how you are disposed (pro or anti bare bear arse) it is indeed a time to give thanks. But what do critics know?

How Did You Celebrate?

The traditional way to mark The Festival of The Jumper is to give a present to a friend or loved one, preferably one bought from an Official TEZNEZCO! (The Company Run By Bears ™) outlet – but a gift given during the fest, no matter what it is, counts for exactly twice the number of normal presents given during regular Christian, Buddhist or Hindu holidays. Mrs. Oaf gave Mr. Oaf a lovely chocolate dessert. Mr. Oaf gave Mrs. Oaf a half empty bottle of maple syrup. Buster gave Bim a framed picture of himself and Bim returned the favour with a half eaten Oreo cookie. Meanwhile, Penguin gave Nesbitt (who doesn’t deserve a present, really) a return railway ticket to Woy Woy and Nesbitt gave Penguin a piece of string.

And what of Teddy?

And what of Teddy? No one gave him a present at all…

bears in history - future bears

“This diary cracked me up, completely, perhaps the oddest diary I have ever read. I'm not sure if it's a takeoff on something or someone that I have somehow missed. Regardless, TEZNEZCO! chronicles the adventures of two bears and describe them as if they are a minority of some sort. The writing is disturbingly matter-of-fact as if it is perfectly normal to be writing about these bears as people. I like it; it's pleasantly novel" - Diaryreview

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